I Can’t do this Anymore

“I’m so sorry. I can’t do it anymore. I’m a loser and a failure. There’s no hope left. The darkness finally wins after 3 decades of fighting it. I’m tired. Goodbye. Love you all.”

This was the suicide note posted by a Facebook friend on the 6th of February 2019 at 6:44 pm AEST.

I wasn’t surprised to be honest. I had seen his mental demise slowly unfolding for months. Through Facebook posts, he often complained about not selling in his business, and how he felt hopeless because he wasn’t making any money.

Whenever I did a Facebook live on sales tips, he would watch and leave comments about his struggles with sales. I tried my best to help and give him the necessary advice. But it wasn’t enough. I should have reached out and at least offered a free coaching session.

So, you can imagine the nausea I felt when I read his suicide post recently. I became a bit hysterical. All his past posts about not selling and how he was a failure started appearing in front of me. Guilt consumed me, because of course I thought, why didn’t I do more? Why didn’t I see the signs? But worst of all, why did I judge him?

After messaging his wife and several people who knew him, I was informed that he was okay.

This is not the first time I had seen a person fall into depression or suicidal thoughts…